the life of brenna

I really should start blogging more often. I miss it.

So, I guess I’ll start with the most exciting news. I may be spending a month in Southern Africa this next summer. Last Monday, I turned in my application and $100 deposit for Project 222, a month long mission trip with Chi Alpha. They haven’t told me whether I’m accepted yet…but I’m pretty sure that I will be. There are only 50 spots available, but I was one of the few that turned in my application by the first deadline…so I’m almost certain I’ll be going to Africa next summer. Now I just need to raise the support to go. It’s going to cost about $3,500 to $4,000…which is a lot of money…so I need to start sending support letters ASAP! Even though I’m supper excited about possibly getting to go to Africa…I’m also scared to death! Not necessarily about going, but about everything that comes before the trip.

About two years ago I almost went on the same trip. I was a freshman in college and I don’t think I realized what all it took to raise support and go on a trip like this. I was going through a lot of growth and dealing with some tough issues…so, even though my heart was absolutely in it, my mind kept getting sidetracked. I was split in so many directions. I did a horrible job at trying to raise support. Money just wasn’t coming in…at all. About a month before we were supposed to leave, I sat down with Matt, the guy in charge of the trip, and we decided that the lack of financial support coming in for me was basically God’s way of telling me that I shouldn’t go on the trip. It was a really tough time for me. I’d spent so much time preparing for the trip with the team that it was really hard to stay behind when they left for Africa that summer.

So, now I know what I’m getting myself into. I know how hard it will be. I know how much it will cost, financially and spiritually, going in to it. I think since then I’ve matured a lot, and I’m a lot better prepared to go to Africa. I’m still pretty scared though. What if I still can’t raise enough money? What if I fail all over again? I don’t know if I could handle that again. It took a lot of encouragement and advice from friends before I even had enough guts to turn in the application to go. I think the only thing that is giving me hope is that I know God is my provider. I know I’m called to go. Two years ago, I felt called to go, but God was doing so much other stuff in my life, that He knew that I wasn’t ready to go. I had the heart for it. God had given me such a passion for the people of Africa, especially the poor and the oppressed, but He knew that if I went that I wouldn’t have been prepared to do His will. So since then, God has continued to break my heart for His people. The passion He gave me before continues to be multiplied. I think that before I even thought about trying to go on Project again, that He began preparing me for it. So earlier this fall, when God began to call me to go on Project again, I knew I’d be better prepared this time, but at the same time I wondered whether it was me wanting to go or God calling me to go. I think that the fact that I feel so called to go, yet so scared is one way that I know it’s not just me. The first time I tried to go I wasn’t really scared at all. I was excited and maybe a little nervous, but never really scared. Now, I am and I know that God is using that fear to draw me closer to Him and help me lean on Him completely. He’s teaching me to lay down that fear and put my trust in Him.

So now begins the lengthy support raising period. I’ve already started working on my support letters. My goal is to have my first batch of letters sent out before Christmas. Which means I need to get started on collecting addresses and phone numbers of everyone I’m going to send letters to. Raising support is a long process, but I know that God will provide.

I want to try to start writing on here more often. It helps me sort out all the jumbled thoughts in my head sometimes.  I’m really going to try to keep this more up to date from now on, especially now that I’ll be getting ready for Africa and raising support and such.

Until next time.